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Why Your Child Can’t Follow Instructions (And How to Fix It)

Build Processing Skills This Summer to Help Your Child Focus in the Fall

Episode Overview
Have you ever given your child an instruction, only to have them forget it two minutes later, like they never heard you? You’re not alone. In this episode, I explain why many kids aren’t being defiant—they’re just overwhelmed. Their brains struggle to process steps, stay organized, and act on directions in real time.

But there’s good news: these processing skills can be built, and summer is the perfect time to do it.

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What You’ll Learn

  • Recognize the real reason your child seems like they aren’t listening—it’s often a processing issue, not defiance

  • Break your instructions into two or three simple, repeatable steps

  • Ask your child to repeat those steps back to strengthen memory and sequencing

  • Model clear thinking by saying your multi-step tasks out loud as you do them

  • Create a calm, focused routine that rewires your child’s brain for better follow-through

Try This Today
Here’s one strategy I recommend parents start with:

  • Give instructions in 2–3 simple steps

  • Ask your child to repeat the steps back

  • Say your own tasks out loud so they can see how you mentally organize

For example: “First I’m washing the vegetables, then I’ll boil the pasta, then I’ll set the table.” This kind of modeling helps your child learn how to break down what they hear into actions they can manage.

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